Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
