The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
how drunk are you?
Several
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
