yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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