; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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