i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
