so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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