Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
