My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
