he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
