yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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