dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
