just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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