he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
