I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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