2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
