Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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