I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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