just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
smell my finger.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
