Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
