Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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