I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
