dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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