i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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