so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
