Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
