i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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