so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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