i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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