due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
