i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
