We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
