Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
