It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
