woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
