Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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