dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
