I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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