we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
