If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
