well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
