I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
