wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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