Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i will never coherently bang her
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
