were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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