Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
