Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
