Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
