im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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