So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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