...so i touched it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
