If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
